imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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