whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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