I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
