bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
