guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
