im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
