you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I believe in your delicious
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
