I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
sex in a hospital.. check
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
