I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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