never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
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