Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
