Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize