I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
PANTIES FOUND
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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