i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
