therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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