bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
