ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
