we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's shark week go big or go home
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
