just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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