Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
