im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
