My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
