Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
