Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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