shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize