Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
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