I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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