Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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