I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
