wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
