two words: eviction party
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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