i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
