dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
