i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
