just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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