i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
