I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
