that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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