Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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