I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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