dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
