Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
