i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
