Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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