i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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