big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
a search helicopter?!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
