I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize