This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
