normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
