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• (248): View more from Michigan

  it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Details.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  ..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...

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• (760): View more from California

  TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH

  (760): View more from California

  I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?

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