doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
