I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
