If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
