thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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