I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
