my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
