im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
