When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
