Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
