why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
