I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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