He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
