i dont even know how to be here
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
