My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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