This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
