you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
