I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
