Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
