just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize